4 Letter Devil

The word
I dare not speak
those that know about
cannot be without
for feeling like that again
would give anything to feel like that again
a change so shocking
so mock me if u must
but i've already put in all my trust

Although i should have been smarter
be a clearer thinker
yet all i end up doing
is becoming a bigger drinker
down my problems with gin and rum
till i wake again
and want to run
from where i'm from
and that is where i start again
from square one
right where i begun