Oh, I know this might sound selfish,
But I love you by yourself.
When it comes to your affection,
You'd rather be with someone else.

And my tears are falling quicker,
Like a snowflake in the winter.
I just wish I had the better side of your heart.
-Dangerous (My American Heart)

Prelude

For all those that feel it
For those that feel it too
both love and hate
happy and sad
all mashed up and stuck together like glue
held together to never be separated
it seems when things are going good
it just leaves u ending up being frustrated
so much regret
yet
so much hope for the future
Faces stay the same but the hearts change
change into something you never knew existed
wish it never existed
hope brings light
small but might
lead to something bigger
something greater
just a flow of thoughts nothing ever being said
because it seems that everytime a good thing happens its all in my head
On the horizon the day breaks
breaks and shatters
peels and flowers
into something new
a new found love

New Love

This new love is like
A rose that grew from concrete
It started slow but crept up to my feet
Past my knees
Up my gut
And into my heart
This new love understands that people change
And that I will change too
But with this new love I will make it through
This new love will see me stumble trip and fall
But this love is unlike anything I have witnessed
It just seems to leave me in awe
Everywhere I go I see people holding hands
But this love it more than that
It really does seem to be more grand

Heavy hearts weigh the most
And I have made my choice
It might have been that little voice
The one for advice
The one that really makes you think twice
The one that creeps and deceives
Makes u hear lies and believe
But I dwell on it no longer
Is it possible that I am now stronger
Better able to deal with circumstances
Better able to take hold of what’s important
And leave the rest up to chances


This new love is not invincible
No, not even close
Just like most
It is vulnerable
Has weaknesses and soft spots
Leave it too long and it will rot

With it I can go farther then ever
Travel uncharted territory
Just thinking about it makes me feel better
This new love has taught me something new
That some things are out of ur control and there is nothing u can do
With this new love I can move on
And put it all behind
With this new love I can sing till my heart's content
Because I know it will always be mine

Sand and Sea

Temporary like
sand castles washing away
It wasn’t meant to be there forever
For the waves seem to reach forever
Always grabbing always taking
Seems to take a hold on everything
And leave ruins where things were so nicely built
Times like these where I feel lost and don’t give a shit
Look in my eyes you can see im so far out of it
I cant stand it
Just cant stand it


I don’t feel like finishing it

Sun II

I am told the sun sleeps forever
Never to be waken again
And i must admit i am saddened to no end
I feel the sun is important
And while it may not feel it is needed
It will be sorely missed
Has it done what it was sent to do
Has the mission been completed
While it maybe the one who seeks the sun
That is looking for more
I just wish it was my time to be the chosen one

The sun is not going to come out and play
But rather wait for a day
A day to get settled in
Find itself and start all over again
The sun waits for no one
Follows its own path
A phoenix looking for rebirth
A brand new beginning
With a heavy heart a person understands
what the sun has to do is not within its control
but instead it goes away only to gain control
While the sun sleeps its people wait
wait for it to wake up
with no certain or planned date
The people know the sun is not for them
It has spoken up and let it be known
That it was just not in its heart and would not let the light be shown

The sun is now gone and must now take a backseat
A million different thoughts a million different streets
A million different paths and a million different choices
The right ones for some are not always the easiest but they are the most earnest
Flashlights and candles can not replace the sun
Just a substitute until a new sun is found
Honesty is the best policy they seem to say
But a lie almost seems better in every way
The sun no longer lingers on and has made up its mind
That it is on leave until the time
The time when it can once again shine
The heart is not to be fucked with because emotions fill so rapidly
If it didn't chances couldn't happen so suddenly
Somethings can only be done with the sunlight
Even though it is gone tonight


That light however can not be taken away
For that light comes from within and appears everyday

Dear Sun

Dear Sun,
You shine so bright
How is it you give off that light
When you move around I just want to follow
And feel the warmth and forget all my sorrow
On the surface is such a glow
I cant help but to slow and soak in all ur rays
I hoped I could stand there for days and days
You knew
your too hot to touch
But again I cant lie and say I don’t think about it much
I should never have let myself get so close
Though its not the burns that hurt the most
It’s the healing, it’s the feelings that form like scars

A chance is not given it is taken
And I took my chance on you
And to see you go away it hurts me more than you
You change from day to day
In more ways than one
From us laughing having fun to me being the only one
Sun tell me where I am supposed to go
Because with you is where I want to be
But it cant be

Sun, you are so mysterious and how did you come to be
Tell me what makes you tick and why you want to turn your back on me
Tell me how you can change so suddenly
I still not sure what makes you go away
I can try and act bravely
And yet it hurts so badly
So much baggage to carry
Walking away I become chilly
Even though I can see you everyday
I know it just wont be the same
Dear sun,
Tell me your leaving for good
That’s the only way I can see it all being understood

Tough Day

Looks like im back to square one
The same square I started from
Form and function together make a match
Mixed feelings and actions blow up faster than a match
From a clean take off
To an explosion in midair
My feelings are blown sky high
My thoughts up in the air
From running my fingers through ur hair
To you vanishing in thin air
Where did you go
Ur feelings vanished
And I stand astonished
That you could make me feel this way
But I should’ve known it was just not my day
I should’ve seen it from the start
I did all I could but it just fell apart
No sting or rope can tie the loose ends
When feelings snap and it just seems like pretend
I wish I could pretend and say it will all go away
But its not that easy and it lingers like its going to stay
More twists and turns than a roller coaster
Maybe I should just coast on autopilot
For awhile longer
Let my skin harden and get stronger
So dazed and confused
Mislead and abused
NOTHING works like its planned
But I guess that’s why its just a plan
From something to nothing in the blink of an eye
I could see it not working out
But baby I want it to

I'd wish this feeling on nobody

I

Mixed emotions and mixed drinks
Don’t seem to help
Sometimes I just need time to think
If I could change ur mind I'd do it for you
But I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s nothing I can do
nothing I can do
If only dreams could come true
I’d be dreaming me with you
I can see the candles lighting the way
If only everything I said could make you stay
You said it was so hard to say goodbye
But I know it was all a lie
I’d close my eyes
But it is still a lie
If love grew on trees
I’d pick anew
But it doesn’t and I cant see me without you
With a clouded mind how am I supposed to make decisions
With you all I see how am I supposed to envision
Me moving on
You moving on
With everything going on
Solutions aren’t as simple as one plus one

Question?

While you may not think so ,I do and you
Illuminate the dark when you smile
Love so sudden
Love didn’t know where to start

You brought back feelings
Others could not capture
Under my arms is where you need to be

Gonna give you something you never thought could be
Others fell short but not this time baby

Over the edge
U got me falling
To either grace or flat on my face

Whisper softly
In you ear
Those feelings, the ones
Heaven does want you to hear

Maybe I lost my mind but
Everything just feels so right

Say you will
Answer all my questions/ all the rest is up to you
Only you

To post or not to post

Anymore

Where every road seems to turn into a dead end
Where do I begin
Everyone said life fits like a puzzle
Pieces of the puzzle never seemed to fit
Will I ever find my fit
It just never seems to be it
Never seems to be it
Defective puzzle that must be it
Take it back
I want a new life
Times not on my side
All the good times seem so far behind
It wont be long
No I’m not where I belong
Abandoned on the street
I could feel my heartbeat slow
Is it wrong to do nothing
To not take control

Change Is A Bitch

When things change
Will it ever be the same
Who is ever the same
Tell me whats happening
Is that an order
So much disorder
When the room stops spinning
I hope its just a phase
For phases come and go
But like a hurricane u leave destruction wherever u go
Broken streets
Stained sheets
Do I have to leave you
Maybe that’s the only thing that will stop you
Because it’s the only thing left to do
Don’t let me lose you tonight
I wont give up without a fight
If I had foresight I can see this ending
Ending like our conversation
Filled with anger and frustration
It hurts me more then you will every know
Just to watch you come and go
There is nothing left to say
I don’t know how much simpler I can say
That I care too much to see you throw ur life away
Temptation has strayed you
Left to betray u
U turn to vices
The ones most people despise
If you had nine lives you’d be fine
But you have one I’d hate to see u waste it like I did mine